“Four Research Porpoises Only” Concept Album by Lady Psychiatrist’s Booth: Four female patients in the 1950's are admitted into a psychiatry hospital after their husbands leave them for various reasons under a study "for research purposes only," , in order to discover "why he's gone." Garf Lunkel M.D. is here to officially diagnose and treat their disorders. Through song, each patient explains to the doctor their stories. In time, they go on quite a journey, from surprising discoveries to delusionary dolphins to unnecessary medication. Featuring Heather Rachel Hardasstein (Ashley E. Norton/Vocals/Acoustic), Linda Michelle Loveless (Amanda Albini/Drums/Vocals), Katrina Rosina Killinger (Marcia Claire/Bass/Vocals) & Penelope Vanuddler (That Girl/Violin/Mandolin/Vocals) with special guest Joelle (Laura Hall/Accordion/Piano) and producer at Americana University, Johnny Garcia. Clearly, they must have done something wrong in order for their husbands to have left them. Or have they? Take a listen and decide for yourselves, Four Research Porpoises Only, by Lady Psychiatrist's Booth.
CREDITS
Ashley E. Norton: Heather Rachel Hardastein (HRH) - Vocals, Acoustic Guitar
Amanda Albini: Linda Michelle Loveless - Drums, Percussion, Chains, Vocals
Marcia Claire: Katrina Rosina Killinger - Bass, Vocals
That Girl: Penelope VanNuddler - Violin, Mandolin, Vocals
Johnny Garcia: Himself - Production, Engineering, Mixing, Mastering, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar
Laura Hall: Joelle - Piano, Accordion
Bruce Blied: Garf Lunkel, M.D.
Album Photography by John Hancock
©2023 Lady Psychiatrist's Booth
LYRICS
Hell In Michelle:
Garcia/Norton/Powers
She puts the hell in Michelle
And the frisky in the whisky
Puts the right in the rye
And the wrong in the bong
The tease in tequila
And the sex on the beach
Fire in the fireball
All night long
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She was daddy’s little angel
With a pretty pink halo
One shot of drama
And the girl’s gone wild
But daddy doesn’t know
She’s a raging volcano
Hot lava mama
She’s a voodoo child
She puts the hell in Michelle
And the frisky in the whisky
Puts the right in the rye
And the wrong in the bong
The tease in tequila
And the sex on the beach
Fire in the fireball
All night long
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
Oooh’s
Daddy’s little angel
Devil in disguise
Two shots of drama
She’s a Jeckyl & Hyde
She puts the hell in Michelle
And the frisky in the whisky
Puts the right in the rye
And the wrong in the bong
The tease in tequila
And the sex on the beach
Fire in the fireball
All night long
She puts the hell in Michelle
And the frisky in the whisky
Puts the right in the rye
And the wrong in the bong
The tease in tequila
And the sex on the beach
Fire in the fireball
All night long
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
She puts the hell in Michelle
TRACKS
The Doctor Is In (Dialogue)
Linda Is Michelle (Dialogue)
Hell In Michelle- Garcia/Norton/Powers
Porcelain Hummel Collection (Dialogue)
Joelle - Norton
Basically Perfect (Dialogue)
When I Grow Up - Norton/Powers
Penelope Repairs The Office Chair (Dialogue)
Cold Dead Body - Norton/Williams
Soap (Commercial Break)
Why Do You Think He’s Gone? (Dialogue)
Why He’s Gone - Albini/Claire/Norton/Girl
Four Research Porpoises Only (Dialogue)
Swivelmatic Actuator (Official Sponsor)
Dolphins On Drugs (Dialogue)
Spanish Cafe - Norton
Collect Call From Beale Street
Penelope’s In Prison (Dialogue)
Slow Train To Memphis - Garcia/Hocter/Norton
That Bastard! (Dialogue)
Money That Makes You A Man - Norton
Heather Betters Herself (Dialogue)
That Girl - Norton
Glad He’s Gone - Norton
Why She’s Gone (Dialogue)
Dancing In The Dirt - Bock/Norton
JOELLE: Norton
I'm here today to warn you all, I've got a tale to tell
About a girl to watch out for, her name is Joelle
Her eyes so thick in black eyeliner you could barely see um
I wondered what she hid behind that blood red hair to bleed on
She cozied right up to my barstool and in her high pitch voice
She said, "You're pretty you're my best friend,” as if I had no choice
Have you seen Single White Female? I didn't see the signs
She was finding reasons to always be wherever I was blind
Fast forward to a few weeks later when I introduced her to my man
He swore that she was more than a flirt but I just didn't believe him
After all there's no way that my best friend would back stab me
Sure she was a little strange but oh that knife went deep
Farewell Joelle
So you've got a soul to sell
So you can go to hell
Where's your prayer
Now that the devil's got your tale
You can go to hell Joelle
Next thing I know Joelle was over my boyfriends everyday
With a different problem for him to fix and slandering my name
He tried to warn but I wouldn't see or I was in denial
Even when she told him I was hitting on every guy
But my man see he loved me and her evil ways didn't last
She got the hint when I didn't flinch and I shook her off my back
I never thought this kinda tale could happen in real life
How does it feel to be my rebound and never be his wife
Farewell Joelle
So you've got a soul to sell
So you can go to hell
Where's your prayer
Now that the devil's got your tale
You can go to hell Joelle
Now this last part of this little tale gets a little sad
My man and I parted ways when our relationship turned bad
Joelle was at his front door just the very next day though
Licking his wounds with whiskey breath and too drunk to say no
She came in crying baby but luckily he caught her lie
He kicked her crazy colors to the curb just in time
The moral of the story goes that bad girls finish last
And Joelle if you come round here again I will surely kick your ass!
Farewell Joelle
So you've got a soul to sell
So you can go to hell
Where's your prayer
Now that the devil's got your tale
You can go to hell Joelle
Farewell Joelle
So you've got a soul to sell
So you can go to hell
Where's your prayer
Now that the devil's got your tale
You can go to hell Joelle
WHEN I GROW UP:
Norton/Powers
When i was young i wanted to be president
Maybe a rockstar or even superman
I’m still a big kid and i won’t settle down yet
There’s so many parties and guys to forget
When i grow up
I’ll do things differently
When i grow up
A do over just for me
When i grow up
I’ll try to do better then
Give me a mulligan
When i grow up again
Who’s got the next round? I’ve got no place to be
There’s shots going down ain’t it great to be me
Got no future plans but don’t give a damn
Cause life is still just a one night stand
When i grow up
I’ll do things differently
When i grow up
A do over just for me
When i grow up
I’ll try to do better then
Give me a mulligan
When i grow up again
When I grow up
I’ll do things efficiently
When I grow up
I’ll get a job wait and see
When I grow up
I’ll try to do the best that I can
Give me a mulligan
When I grow up again
When i grow up
I’ll do things differently
When i grow up
A do over just for me
When i grow up
I’ll try to do better then
Give me a mulligan
When i grow up again
COLD DEAD BODY:
NORTON/WILLIAMS
Can you bleed a telltale heart?
When the beat falls apart
A drop of poison in my mouth
Was all it took to doubt
Sticks and stones may break my bones
You went straight for my chest
Hell hath no fury
Well...you know the rest
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
That’s what you’ll have to do
To get me under you
I’m not tryin’ to make amends
But if you want to see me again
Stop rockin’ the cradle
Start robbing the grave
You made your bed now lie in it
This ain’t about revenge
You can’t take it out on
The walking dead
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
That’s what you’ll have to do
To get me under you
Don’t beat a dead man when he’s down
But you can add fuel to the fire
Let him fry
Let him lie
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
That’s what you’ll have to do
To get me under you
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
Over my cold dead body
That’s what you’ll have to do
To get me under you
WHY HE’S GONE:
Albini/Claire/Groot/Norton
I had a little issue with spending too much green
Momma said I went through cash like she had never seen
She told me, “Get a sugar daddy!”
“A really rich laddy!”
So I took her sound advice
Cuz my compulsion has a price.
QVC was my very best friend
My hubby said to stop but I just did not comprehend.
And you know I kept on chargin’
Enjoyed livin’ large and
That’s why he’s gone
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
I drained my husband’s bank account
And now that man is gone
I once met a nice young man and boy was that guy neat
I thought that we’d get married cuz he swept me off my feet
But one day he just got up and he ran straight out the door
He yelled “Girl you talk way too damn much I can’t take it anymore!”
I drove that man insane I was his ultimate demise
He lost it cus he could never get in a single word edgewise
I made him snap cuz I grabbed and yapped and just went on and on
I talked that man right to the edge and now that man is gone
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
I talked that man right to the edge
And now that man is gone
He bought me a million dresses and sweaters to match my dog
I can spend all of his money but I won't get a job
I play with these amazing ladies we spent hours on this song
He gets minutes of my time so I don’t know why he’s gone
He takes me to fancy dinners but I don't know how to cook
I check myself out in the mirror but won't give him a second look
I ain’t a narcissist, I am basically perfect
I’ve done nothing wrong so I guess that's why he's gone
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
I am basically perfect
So I don’t know why he’s gone
I repaired the office chair it had a funky wheel
I thought I'd put a motor on it for my husband Neil
He always wanted quickies so I didn’t think it wrong
But one good sneeze propelled that thing and now that man is gone
My handy misadventure was a turning point for me
I had to go to jail but i gained notoriety
I get letters everyday from women ordering that chair
And without a steering wheel those men could be anywhere!
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
He doesn’t have a steering wheel
And that is why he’s gone
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
Why he’s gone (why he’s gone)
I drained my husbands bank account
I talked that man right to the edge
I am basically perfect
Swivelmatic Actuator
And that is why he’s gone
Spanish Cafe: Norton
I want to know what moved your pen
Or did you already forget
I sort of hoped that it was me
But I wasn't quite born yet
So that doesn't make sense
But nothing does anymore
Sure, you could be my muse
And I will be your girl
I want to read poetry in a Spanish cafe
I want to write a song with all the jigsaw words you made
I want to love the shadows of a moonlit alleyway
I want to read poetry from a Spanish cafe
I want to know your greatest love
And if I'm not like her
I’ll be in the novel
A supporting character
Wouldn't it be crazy
To go completely insane
I can make your dreams come true
And you’ll forget her name
I want to read poetry in a Spanish cafe
I want to write a song with all the jigsaw words you made
I want to love the shadows of a moonlit alleyway
I want to read poetry from a Spanish cafe
Hello love it’s good to know ya
I fell for Barcelona
More than just infatuated
A fairytale that came from Madrid
Hello love it’s good to see ya
I found hope in Valencia
It’s enough that’s what I say
To get lost in Alicante
Yo quiero leer una poema en café Español
Quiero escribir una canción con palabras que tu hiciste
Quiero amar las sombras de un camino iluminado
Quiero leer una poema en café Español
I want to read poetry in a Spanish cafe
I want to write a song with all the jigsaw words you made
I want to love the shadows of a moonlit alleyway
I want to read poetry from a Spanish cafe
I want to read poetry from a Spanish cafe
I want to read poetry from a Spanish cafe
Slow Train To Memphis:
Garcia/Hocter/Norton
I woke up to the sun going down
With the taste of goodbye still on my tongue
A shot of whiskey to chase the burn
I’m on a one way track, i won’t return
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
Close these red eyes when i hear the blues
I wanna find grace in every shadow
Cause the light reminds me of you
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
Heading southbound through the tears
The sound of steel on steel is music to my ears
A heart full of sin and pain and an empty bottle
I need to rinse my soul in muddy water
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
Close these red eyes when i hear the blues
I wanna find grace in every shadow
Cause the light reminds me of you
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
Close these red eyes when i hear the blues
I wanna find grace in every shadow
Cause the light reminds me of you
I wanna take a slow train to Memphis
Money That Makes
You A Man: Norton
Last night ya came home at 6am
Smelling of roses, what a typical scent
There’s glitter on your collar, and you ain’t even bothered
To wipe the lipstick off your chin
You’re full of excuses heard over again
And I’m sure you’re networking with business men
I’m sure you just sit there, I’m sure you don’t tip there
And the strippers don’t know you by name
I’m sure that’s the reason you came
Money that makes you a man
Means the devil is holding your hand
And a whore named Petunia
Made it all worth it to ya
A good woman knows better than
The money that makes you a man
I bet you thought you had one up on me
It’s raining dollars and growing on trees
You thought you’d control me, with Franklin or McKinley
But you picked the wrong girl you see
I’d rather go digging for free
Money that makes you a man
Means the devil is holding your hand
And a whore named Petunia
Made it all worth it to ya
A good woman knows better than
The money that makes you a man
Money that makes you a man
Means the devil is holding your hand
And I won’t stick around to
Watch you become a fool
I guess you gotta get what you can
When it's money that makes you
Makes you or breaks you
Money that makes you a man
That Girl: Norton
I wanna be that girl they say “I knew her when” about
I wanna stand on that stage with guitar picks to throw out
I wanna be in Rolling Stone and make my parents proud
I wanna lose my hearing cause the speakers were too loud
I wanna be that girl
That girl changes softly
That girl’s right on key
That girl’s learning slowly
As she's floating out to sea
That girl used to be me
Now I wanna inspire future young adults to sing
I wanna be the reason that she started practicing
I wanna show the joy that music therapy can bring
And I wanna move the needle to the center of this thing
I wanna be that girl
That girl changes softly
That girl’s right on key
That girl’s learning slowly
As she's floating out to sea
That girl used to be me
I wanna be a friend and I just want to be a good
Daughter, wife and neighbor and someone who really could
Listen to your problems and be a shoulder to cry on
Maybe that’s all I’ll be before this life goes on
I wanna be that girl
That girl changes softly
Who cares if she's on key
That girl’s learning slowly
As she's swimming home from sea
That girl’s gonna be me
Glad He’s Gone: Norton
I’m glad he’s gone
He can’t hurt nobody else
Or push me down
And keep it to himself
I’m glad he’s gone
So I can rest in peace
And he can lie
In bed 6 feet deep
I have his song
It’s sad he’ll never hear
I’m glad he’s gone
But mad that he’s not here
I’m glad he’s gone
Had I the chance to say
The things to him
Before he went away
I’m glad he’s gone
But wish I said my peace
And stood with friends
In solidarity
I have his song
It’s sad he’ll never hear
I’m glad he’s gone
But mad that he’s not here
Dancing In The Dirt:
Bock/Norton
You’re swingin’ to Springsteen
You’re dancing in the dark
We’re boots and blue jeans
We’re dancin in the dirt
Swingin’ to Springsteen,
You’re dancing in the dark
We’re boots and blue jeans
We’re dancin in the dirt
We don’t need your concert halls
We’re out here vibin’ got no walls
All you country queens and kings
Are holding court with guitar strings
The festival at Fishin’ Creek
That summer lovin’ that we need
The music’s loud, the beer is sweet
Two-steppin’ with two left feet
You’re swingin’ to Springsteen
You’re dancing in the dark
We’re boots and blue jeans
We’re dancin in the dirt
Swingin’ to Springsteen,
You’re dancing in the dark
We’re boots and blue jeans
We’re dancin in the dirt
Washboards pickin’ up the beat
Chillin’ in the Carolina heat
Leave your worries in the woods
The band is great, the feelin’s good
Let’s get dancey in the dirt
Don’t get fancy we can flirt
One more song is all we need
Until sunrise, then we’d be
Swingin’ to Springsteen
You’re dancing in the dark
We’re boots and blue jeans
We’re dancin in the dirt x3